Letting go

this house is too large for my negotiation
a path of pine chips where the dog leaps
over metal fence to lay in tall grass
I follow and feel the breeze in my hair
summer, spring summer…

I have terrible dreams, I scream
fuck you and wake with responses
yesterday I put my foot through
a slab of drywall
I bent the carpenter’s jabber backwards
held my arms folded
gazed at the dust I created
quietly swept the floor

I quarrel with refrigerators
hear the hum but can’t locate the malfunction
an old doorway leads to a closet
I debate whether the space should be converted
pine bookshelves
or a plastered cove

I read nothing but Japanese literature
and see figments of men in kimono
closing gates behind them

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